The concept of home

My husband doesn't understand the concept of feeling like you're "home" in one place versus another. To him, home is where you live. To me, it's more of a state of mind. I've lived in my current city since 1999, but I can't claim that it's home. It's more of a habit, really. I'm surprised at how easy it's been to just ease into life here. I always say I don't like this place, and by and large I don't. But the longer we stay, the harder it is for me to leave. We've got good jobs, a network so that we'll always have jobs, a house, friends, etc.

Except I really don't feel like I'm home when I'm here. I always feel like a visitor.

This weekend we're going to North Carolina, where I was raised and lived until I was twenty-two. Going to NC is always hard for me. I tend to get all weepy and nostalgic when I'm there. I don't know if it's because I'm comfortable there. I miss the accents. Sometimes, I listen to John Edwards speak just because he sounds like all of the people I grew up around. And really, that is the only reason I listen to his stump speeches.

ASIDE: Seriously, if I hear John Edwards talk about the mills and his grandma one more time, I'm going to bust through my TV and throttle him. It's not that it's a bad message, but it doesn't have to be your ONLY message!

Back to my post now. I'm excited to go back to NC this weekend, but I haven't been back in a while. Sometimes when I visit, I feel like I've outgrown Raleigh, like its too backward and un-sophisticated after living in a huge city for years. In some ways, it is. I've become very liberal in my thoughts about sexuality and race since my early 20s. Basically, I just don't care. You can be who you want, sleep with who you want, and be any color and I think the same of you - so long as you're a decent human being. I don't think those ideas are typical for the average North Carolinian (Charlotte excepted).

However, there is just something about the area that typtifies "home" for me. Oddly, there are places I visit that also feel like home. When I go to St. John or St. Martin, I feel pleasantly comfortable. I felt that way almost immediately upon my arrival in those places for the first time. I didn't feel that way in other places, like Maui or England or Aruba. I don't know why, but those places didn't feel right to me.

I wonder what makes some places feel like home, even if you've never lived there? Is it more your state of mind when you're in those places, or they memories you have of a certain place?