Too sad to say much

For better or worse, I was a sorority girl in college. Though I'm not sure I'd do it again, I did walk away with a few really great friends who I still depend on to this day. However, one of those friends lived in my dorm, so I'm pretty sure we would've been good friends even without the sorority.

I'm rambling. All to get to the point that when I was in college, my sorority faced two tragedies. First, one of the older girls was killed in a fraternity house fire. She was one of five or six who died. Second, another girl was killed in a car wreck about a year later. Another one of my sorority sisters was driving the car. It was a bad time all around.

I felt like tragedy was stalking my campus when I was in college. I went to UNC-Chapel Hill, and by all accounts its an idyllic school. In many ways, it is. However, in the four years I spent there, we had a campus shooter, a frat house fire, the suicide of a guy who was a member of the fraternity that had the fire, and several car wrecks that killed people. In addition, THREE (I'm not joking) members of my high school debate team all died while away at college. One had a brain aneuryism, one had a heart condition, and one was kidnapped and has not been found to this day. All this on top of the awesomeness of one of my best friend's mom being diagnosed with what turned out to be terminal cancer.

Life was just beginning, but all around me, it was also ending. If I ever seem a bit macabre, I come by it honestly. I embrace people who have a genuine excitement about life. I want to be one of those people. I just can't summon the energy or courage. I've seen too much tragedy in my 31 years. My best friend has lost both her brother and her mother since we left college. I've lost my father and watched him suffer horribly. I know how ugly and unfair life can be.

This week, tragedy again struck the place I most consider home. The student body president of UNC was murdered. I'd never heard of her before this week. Her name was Eve Carson, and she was the big cheese around campus. A prestigious Morehead scholar, involved in campus politics and policies, beautiful and seemingly fearless. This girl had a genuine excitement about life. This girl anticipated the future and each coming day. She was apparently shot in the head by a random robber who wanted her ATM card. She was dumped on the road a mile from her house, shot multiple times. The most recognizable girl on campus, and it took the police 24 hours to identify her.

They have a photo of the monster (I'm sorry, "person of interest") who did this, but don't have him under arrest at this point. I'm scared and sorry for my school. I was so hoping that a stalker had killed her. Not that it would have made it any better, but it wouldn't have been as scary for the students at UNC. Chapel Hill is a safe place. At least, it was. I hate that the safety and innocence that one should have in college has been taken away from the student body.

I don't have much of a point. I'm just sad for my school. I'm sad for the town. I'm sad for the world. Most of all, I'm sad for Eve Carson, whose dreams and ambition for the future will remain unfulfilled. And that's the most unfair thing of all.