Looking forward to Prozac

Results were released yesterday from a study that measured happiness and depression in eighty countries around the world. People were survyed, and the results tallied by country. In the US, people reported 44 as being their most unhappy age, regardless of financial status, marital status or overall place in life. Wow, what a lot to look forward to.

I'm surprised at this because, at age 30, things seem so damn HARD some days. I've got so much to prove at my job and I feel as if my youth hampers success. We're constantly stressing and straining to build a life for ourselves, to begin paying off the house, the cars, the student loans. It's an uphill battle. One that I'd hoped would be mostly over by the time I was 44. To me, a large part of happiness is financial independence. Maybe I'm wrong?

Those that were married reported being happier in general than those not married. However, those without children reported being happier than those with children. Now, the study didn't say whether those who were married/partnered with children were any happier than those un-partnered folks with children, but it gives me pause. Many people with children tell me how great it is, but most of those people have young children or adult children without problems. Those who have strained relationships with their kids or kids who've battled substance abuse/eating disorders/etc often tell me to "think about it hard and long before you have kids."

In the end, I guess it all comes down to your individual experiences. And sometimes we don't get to choose those experiences.

This study upsets me because I'd always looked toward my mid-forties as a sort of prime in my life. You're old enough that people take you seriously, but you still feel and look pretty young. If you've been a little saver, you have a decent amount of financial independence. Kids are getting older and your freedom is returning. Sure, life's probably halfway over, but if you haven't come to grips with the fact that "we've all gotta go sometime" by 44, I think you've been deluding yourself. I don't know, it's always sounded pretty good to me.

My sister is 40, and she seems better than she was at 35. The Italian's sisters are both in their early 40s, and though they've both had tough relationship issues, each seems to have a sure idea of what she wants and is going for it. I'm trying to enjoy my 30s, but standing at the front-end of the decade, it seems pretty hard. I've got a lot of work to do in the next 10 years. Having kids (or not) - either way it's going to be difficult. Saving money while still trying to travel, buy furniture and pay off a house - more tough. Building a career and name for myself in my chosen field (or figuring out what my chosen field even IS) - tough, tough, tough.

In the end, is it all even necessary? I've been asking myself this a lot lately. Part of my wants to "opt-out" of the traditional American life. I'm always reminded of a cheesy, but apt, parable about the businessman and the fisherman:
-------------------------------------------------------------------
"A few years ago, a very rich businessman decides to take a vacation to a small tropical island in the South Pacific. He has worked hard all his life and has decided that now is the time to enjoy the fruits of his labor. He is excited about visiting the island because he’s heard that there is incredible fishing there. He loved fishing as a young boy, but hasn’t gone in years because he has been so busy working to save for his retirement.

So on the first day, he has his breakfast and heads to the beach. It’s around 9:30 am. There he spots a fisherman coming in with a large bucket full of fish!

“How long did you fish for?” he asks. The fisherman looks at the businessman with a wide grin across his face and explains that the fishes for about three hours every day. The businessman then asks him why he returned so quickly.

“Don’t worry”, says the fisherman, “There’s still plenty of fish out there.”

Dumbfounded, the businessman asks the fisherman why he didn’t continue catching more fish. The fisherman patiently explains that what he caught is all he needs. “I’ll spend the rest of the day playing with my family, talking with my friends and maybe drinking a little wine. After that I’ll relax on the beach.”

Now the rich businessman figures he needs to teach this peasant fisherman a thing or two. So he explains to him that he should stay out all day and catch more fish. Then he could save up the extra money he makes and buy and even bigger boats to catch even more fish. The he could keep reinvesting his profits in even more boats and hire many other fisherman to work for him. If he works really hard, in 20 or 30 years he’ll be a very rich man indeed.

The businessman feels pleased that he’s helped teach this simple fellow how to become rich. Then the fisherman looks at the businessman with a puzzled look on his face and asks what he’ll do after he becomes very rich.

The businessman responds quickly “You can spend time with your family, talk with your friends, and maybe drink a little wine. Or you could just relax on the beach.”
----------------------------------------------------------------
Why work so hard to accomplish something that I could do right now, if I was willing to live on less? Is this American way of life too ingrained within me?